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Thread: A Journal Left on Queen Shellten's Desk - 11/18

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    House Shellten Cailen Shellten's Avatar  
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    A Journal Left on Queen Shellten's Desk - 11/18

    Early in the morning, before his departure, Cailen gave a leather bound journal to Lord Grayson Chelan. His specific instructions were to place it on the desk in the Royal Study for Vivienne to find after his ship left port. Grayson almost insisted that the former King gave the journal to the Queen himself, but knowing better than to do so, he kept his suggestions to himself and did as he was asked.

    The journal was not used for the reason it was intended for. Only the pages required to write the following message were used. The handwriting is not perfect, as Cailen's normally is, one can tell that effort was made to write this as best he could. Periodically there are smudges in the ink, small prints from where his fifth finger had touched the previous letter. It had been written out over the span of many days, as he had time to think about what he wanted to say, what he wanted to leave behind. As a result of the time gaps between paragraphs, Cailen's handwriting differs from time to time.

    My Dearest Vivienne,

    When we last sat down to speak together, admittedly this was my fault, the conversation did not go as I had planned. My only wishes were to impart some of my wisdom, my findings, to prepare you as Father could not prepare me. I realize this is a bit more difficult for you than it will be for me, or difficult in different ways if I may reword that without removing this page from it's binding. It is difficult for me to find the words to explain everything I felt that night, for my failure in communication, I am truly sorry.

    My intent was never to tell you what to do. I never meant to imply you don't know your people or how to rule. It is hard for me to pass down something so important when I feel as though I have not prepared for it myself. I have made many mistakes in my time as King and my sincerest regrets are leaving them to you to clean up after I am long since gone. For this, I am wholly apologetic. I meant to be strong, to be like Father, in the end I feel as though I've failed.

    You are intelligent, strong, and I know you know what you're doing. It goes without saying that you are more than my sister, you're my best friend, and I have only ever wanted the best in life for you. Putting the country and our family in your hands and then abandoning you has caused my soul a great amount of pain and I cannot help but feel as though I have failed you in more ways than I could begin to imagine. I have been selfish, and for that I am full of regret but I know that no amount of words can fix the damage I have done. I wish I knew how to help you, how to make this easier, or if only I could turn back time. I want you to know that I have every confidence in you, all I ever wanted to do was to assist you the best I could with what time I have remaining.

    Vera and I have spoken but for obvious reasons she is a bit torn when it comes to the situation at hand. Do not let her forget how much I cared for her, on this same note, you must not forget how dear you are to me. Good bye has always been something I've struggled with, especially ones that are laden with so much guilt such as this one. Know that I care deeply for both of you, know that though my heart may not beat, each of you shall always reside within it.

    Know that I will always be there for you. Simply think of me and I will be at your side.

    All my blessings upon your reign. May it be long, absolute, and peaceful.

    Yours truly, forever, and with all my love,
    Last edited by Kiera; 12-30-2017 at 10:52 PM.

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